Children are victims in their own right
Section 3 of the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 says that any reference to a victim of domestic abuse includes a child who:
- sees or hears, or experiences the effects of, the abuse, and
- is related to the person carrying it out or the person it is directed at (a parent, someone with parental responsibility, or a relative).
So a child can be a victim when one parent abuses the other, or when a parent abuses, or is abused by, a partner or relative (Home Office statutory guidance, paragraph 128). The child doesn’t have to be in the room.
Keeping children safe in education 2026 reflects this. Its definition of abuse includes “the impact on children of all forms of domestic abuse, including where they see, hear or experience its effects” (paragraph 25). Emotional abuse can include “seeing or hearing the ill-treatment of another” (paragraph 27). Annex A says domestic abuse can have “a serious, long-lasting emotional and psychological impact on children”, and that some children blame themselves.
The signs to look for
The Home Office statutory guidance lists impacts that domestic abuse can have on children (paragraph 135). In school you may see a pupil who is:
- anxious, low or depressed, or has low self-esteem
- hypervigilant, watching faces, body language and changes in mood
- tired, with trouble sleeping or nightmares
- complaining of stomach aches, or wetting the bed
- slow to develop speech and language, or losing skills
- falling behind, truanting, or at risk of exclusion
- swinging between distress, upset and anger
- aggressive, or the opposite: withdrawn and quiet
- using alcohol or drugs, or self-harming
The guidance adds two that are easy to miss: children who manage “their space within the home so they are not visible”, and children who throw themselves into activities outside the home, “including academia or sports, as a distraction”. A high-achieving, always-busy pupil can be living with abuse too.
By age
- Babies may cry excessively, sleep badly and have disrupted attachment.
- Pre-school children tend to show the most behavioural disturbance, such as bed wetting, disturbed sleep and eating difficulties, and are especially likely to blame themselves.
- Older children are more likely to underperform at school, have few friends, self-harm, run away or get involved in anti-social behaviour.
(Statutory guidance, paragraph 137.)
Pupils with SEND
Children with special educational needs and disabilities may show distress differently: through challenging behaviour, withdrawal, poor concentration or changes in how they communicate (paragraph 138). Staff who know the child best, including teachers and therapists, are often the first to notice.
Coercive control
Abuse isn’t only physical. The guidance warns that non-physical abuse such as coercive control has “a significant impact on children”, and that professionals focused on violence can miss the child’s daily experience (paragraph 133).
None of these signs proves anything on its own. They are reasons to be curious and to share what you notice with the DSL.
Abuse in pupils’ own relationships
KCSIE 2026 says children can also suffer domestic abuse “in their own intimate relationships”, sometimes called teenage relationship abuse (paragraph 45). The statutory definition of domestic abuse only applies where both people are 16 or over. Below that, it is treated as child abuse, and KCSIE says child safeguarding procedures should be followed and both young victims and young perpetrators offered support (Annex A). See harmful sexual behaviour and child-on-child abuse.
KCSIE also recognises child to parent abuse, where a child harms a parent or carer (paragraph 25).
How the school finds out
Some disclosures come from the child. Others come from the police through Operation Encompass. Since 7 November 2025, section 49A of the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 has required police forces to notify a child’s school, before the start of the next school day, when they have attended a domestic abuse incident and believe the child may be a victim. It covers every child connected to the household, whether or not they were present. See our Operation Encompass guide for what a notification contains and what the Key Adult does.
KCSIE says Operation Encompass “does not replace statutory safeguarding procedures or referrals” (Annex A). A notification is information to act on, not the end of the matter.
What staff should do
- Notice and write it down. Record what you saw and heard, with dates and the child’s own words. See how to record a safeguarding concern.
- Tell the DSL or a deputy straight away. Patterns matter: one tired morning is nothing, but tiredness every Monday, alongside an Operation Encompass notification, is a picture.
- Don’t confront the parent or ask the child to explain what happened at home. That is for the DSL and other agencies, and it could put the child or the adult victim at more risk.
- Be available. A trusted adult and a predictable school day are protective (statutory guidance, paragraph 134).
The DSL decides on next steps: support in school, Early Help or Family Help, or a referral to children’s social care where the child is suffering, or likely to suffer, significant harm. Think about brothers and sisters too, in your school and elsewhere.
Where to get help
- National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge): 0808 2000 247, free and confidential, 24 hours a day. Useful to pass to an adult victim.
- Operation Encompass helpline for education staff: 0204 513 9990, 8am to 1pm, Monday to Friday.
- Childline: 0800 1111, for children and young people.
The first two are listed in KCSIE 2026, Annex A. Childline is run by the NSPCC.